Unintelligent Design, Creationism while stoned ...

I've got a theory that I hope the "Discovery Institute" will consider publishing at some point. I hope to more fully develop that here in this discussion. In order to properly collect data points for my theory I'd like to solicit others to contribute to what I'm calling my GMBSHIT list. (aka ... God Musta Been Stoned, He Invented This!). As it see it the first step is to gather this data.

The basic premise of the paper I plan to submit is that a random conglomeration of internet forum users could design a better human than Yahweh. I don't discount that other supernatural deities may be capable of making a better human than the God of Abraham, but I'm theorizing that the Muslim/Christian/Jewish deity cannot because he is constantly stoned. Uh huh ... yep ... the Rastafarians got it right.

Here are what I have on the list so far:

Excretory System: Come on buddy? You're kidding with this right? Why not just design a metabolism that is waste free (or at least closer to being waste free)? How tough could that have been for an omnipotent being?

Knees: Bipedal locomotion is hindered by the fact that our knees bend in the front. You'd think Mr. All-Knowing woulda known eh? Not to mention how rearward bending knees would eliminate the back problems associated with human bipedalism.

Talking: Telepathy only good enough for Ja and his ilk? ***!?!? We have to chirp like monkeys to make our point but you just think your point into someone's head? Made in your image my arse.

Limb Regeneration: You give that to some amphibians but not us? That's a stunner. No really. Salamanders > Humans? What the hell did Salamanders ever do to deserve that? Wows!

Toe Nails: The ones on my fingers come in useful sometimes. The ones on our toes? Um. Not good for digging. Clearly homeboy smoked a phat bowl of the chronic that day. Seventy or eighty years of bending over with clippers once a week? Ever had to clip someone else's toenails? Yikes. Thanks for those Jehovah.

So as you see these are just some really obvious mistakes along the chain of intelligence inserting itself into the human evolutionary process. So ... take 3 or 11 seconds to think about it and I'm sure you'll find other stoner-induced blunders in the so-called "Intelligent Design" argument.

Please share them here.



This post has been edited by uaafanblog on Apr 22 2009, 01:18 PM

Scientific American had an article.
I have copy at home.

Our eyes have a blind spot.

Men's gonads start up around the heart but descend to outside the body. This leaves a weak spot in the abdomen wall which is why guys sometimes get hernias.

Consider them added ...

Inguinal Canal Hernias and Testicles: When our guts start pushing through a little hole in our pelvis it's not a good thing. And yeah ... our gonads hanging on the outside? rEalLY?!?! I guess when you're stoned you forget how much a "racking" hurts.

Inefficient Visual Range: Couldn't he have considered for a moment that important stuff happens other than just in front of us? How many other species got blessed with near 360 degree vision. What now? Octopus > Human too?

This post has been edited by uaafanblog on Apr 22 2009, 03:09 PM

Exactly my point.

But that is only half the story.
The other half is it does make sense from an evolutionary point of view.

I'm going to head home and will look for that magazine.
And hopefully the article is also online.

I'm pretty sure it had other examples.

And Cusa another "if" but this time it's a true "if".

What is the name of the part of the sentence that comes after the "if" but before the "then"?

In his case it would be, "duh?"

This post has been edited by Granouille on Apr 22 2009, 09:55 PM

The article I was talking about is here
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article....d=this-old-body

He tells how when he started teaching he was assigned a room in a building that was being renovated. Rather than be bothered by the inconvience of it, he learned from it.

He saw that the wireing and plumbing made no sense. Unless you understood the building was old and all the wireing and such were done later bit by bit.

I think its just a clear another indication that no omnipotent omniscient supernatural being designed us. The Flying Spaghetti Monster could have done a better job.